Why I Have Trust Issues

Hey guys!

So in case the title or the gif didn't tell you what today's issue of the Chronicler will be about, let me tell you. I have trust issues. Some pretty major ones which stem from a myriad of experiences, and some that are so deeply ingrained my psyche, I don't even want to begin to throw a stone in that bottomless well. Below is a series of things that I believe are the cause of my trust issues, and unfortunately, I have yet to find a solution to these issues. 

1. Raisin in cookies

They look like chocolate chips but they're not. Like why? Why you do this to me? 

2. MUFFIN BROCCOLI

I don't know if you guys have seen it, but there is a photo of a broccoli baked into a muffin/cupcake thing. WHAT. Why? Why do you promote my trust issues?

3. Wifi

Ever have that moment where you're like, "Yes! Free wifi!" And then you connect and it doesn't frigging work?! Trust issues! I want the free wifi to work! Whyyyyyyy?

4. Pokeballs

So, little known fact, but perhaps it's pretty obvious once you get to know me, I don't know, but I'm kind of a nerd. Now, I'm not hardcore. I don't count down the days until the latest Pokemon game (although I did do that for Mario and Zelda...) and I certainly haven't played every single version of it for every single console available. But. I do play Pokemon for my GameCube, and when I go to catch a motherballin' Pokemon, I expect it to stay in it's frigging ball! It's the most nerve wracking thing watching that ball wiggle. When it works, you breathe a sigh of relief, and when it shakes and you think it's going to stay and then all of a sudden in a burst of white light it shoots out of the Pokeball like it's nobody's business. That is why I have trust issues. You get so excited and then boom. Let down.

5. Makeup

Obviously, I love makeup just as much as the next beauty girl, but honestly, have you guys seen before and after photos for face routines alone? A little brown powder on the hollows of your cheeks, your temples, jawline, and sides of your nose and it's like you've lost ten pounds off your face alone! Add some highlighter to it, and you might as well look like a totally different person. Makeup. It's crazy and that's why I love it. But it does give a body some major trust issues.

6. Overly Friendly/Nice People

Does this not cause anyone else to be suspicious? I feel like when people are just a touch too bright or a tad too smiley, bitch, you know something is wrong. They're just a tad too all over you, or just a smidgen too exuberant. Whether I encounter these people in commission stores, restaurants, or just in daily, I always feel a tad weary when I talk to them.

7. Supernatural

Is it just me or is it that every new character introduced to the show has died? **SPOILER** Even Castiel has! I mean, come on! Stop killing all the chicks in that show, and stop killing everyone other than Sam, Dean, Bobby (who has died at one point as well), and Castiel. I can't get emotionally attached to characters I feel have true potential for the show only to have them die. Same could be said for Game of Thrones, so I'm told.

8. Prince Hans

He was so nice! And he sang! With Ana! And he's a bad guy? What! 

Though, kudos to Disney for sneaking in a life lesson in there. Never trust the guy who seems completely perfect for you. Chances are he just wants your kingdom. That bastard.

9. Plot Twists

Every. Time. They always get me and I'm left standing/sitting there like an idiot! Who thinks of these things?!

10. Victoria's Secret

I want to know the secret, I want to know who this Victoria chick is, and I want to know how it's possible to fake not one but TWO cup sizes! Guys, I am so sorry. That must drive you crazy. The only way I could understand it is kind of like opening a bag of chips and seeing half of it is air, not chip. 

11. Wake Up Calls (Shouts)

When I was living at home, my dad would burst into my room a half hour or fifteen minutes before I actually had to wake up. Not fun. That half hour is prime sleep time.

12. People

And that one goes without saying.

Look at that, two posts in one day! I hope you guys liked it! Don't forget to check out my last post! Let me know in the comments below what causes you to have some trust issues, I'd love to know! Because, you know, I'm kind of nosey like that.

XOXO,

A. Bean

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Curly Girl Talks: How to be Your Own Superhero(ine)

Hey guys!

It's Friday and that means it's my Curly Girl Talks day! I really should come up with a catchier name, but CGTF just doesn't have the same ring as TGIF. Maybe I'll add that to the list of things I need to do.... Anyway, I have a small list of things I want to talk about during these CGT days, but I decided to bypass all those and go with a superhero theme for this week because, to be honest, even though this past week was spent in my hometown, it just wasn't...anything. I'm not sure how to explain it. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good either. Being back here brings back too many memories and makes me heavily aware of my gag reflex when it comes to thinking about some choice things. I know I can't hop across the country and hide every time I go through a bad breakup, but in this case, I can and I will/am, so there. I'm sure deep down inside, I'm a mature grown up person who realizes how utterly ridiculous I'm being, but due to a certain series of events of which I may or may not choose to disclose in a much later post, bottom line is, I was hurt badly. It's the kind of hurt that I can't seem to shake either which isn't like me at all. All that to say, I am incredibly grateful for the people in my life currently and to the friends whom I can trust and turn to to pep me up when I need it, and tell it to me straight when I may not want it.

Today's post is going to be a series of steps on How to be Your Own Superhero. I've watched documentaries, I've read the comics, watched the cartoons, and fallen in love with them, and so, I feel confident in my information and opinions. Ladies, you don't need a man to be your superhero, you don't need cheesy quotes like this:

Or like this:

In order to validate yourself to society or yourself. Be your own superhero, you don't need anyone else to be it for you. Guys, before you promise a girl that you're going to be her superman or whatever, make damn sure you mean it and that you're going to stick with her no matter what. Superman did  not dump Lois Lane for anything. Ladies, don't be Lois. Be Superman. If everyone was like Superman, damn. Wouldn't that be something? So here are some tips ands tricks on how to be your own superhero before becoming someone else's hero. (PS- We're all heroes!) (PPS- Bleeding for a whole week does NOT make girls superheroes, it makes them women not girls.)

1. Don't bitch and complain a lot. This might seem pretty obvious, but I've recently become aware of how often I find myself complaining about the most insignificant things. We all have those days where every little thing gets to us, and venting is healthy. Just be sure to find something good in the little things because it's the little things that count, too.
   
2. To go along with the little things point, do whatever you can for someone else whenever they need it, whenever you can, and whenever you are able. Spontaneity is the spice of life, but kindness is the main ingredient to achieving happiness and superhero(ine)dom. 
   
3. I heard a quote by a figure skater while watching the Sochi 2014 Olympics and it really struck a cord with me. She said she hoped to leave figure skating in a better place than she had found it. I don't remember the name of the athlete, but Sochi would be her last Olympic games. That quote got me thinking though. Whatever you choose to leave behind, or even if you don't choose to leave it, and it just goes, leave it in a better place than you found it. The strong don't emerge from having an easy life and privilege, or wealth, or race, or whatever other patriarchal things you want to attach, the strong emerge from adversity and learning from their past. Superheroes don't experience tragedy for nothing, just look at how Batman turned out. Without his parents' death, he never would have taken up the cape and mask gig and probably would've spent his life being a rich little billionaire boy.
   
4. Find positivity in everybody, every experience, and every day. Go to bed knowing that you tried your best today to be the best you you can be and you will surely be right on your way to becoming your own superhero.
   
5. Never underestimate the power of a small act of kindness. Whether it's holding the door open for someone, offering your seat on the bus, or simply smiling at a stranger, never underestimate the difference it can make in a person's day.
   
6. No cape? No problem. You don't need a mask to validate being a superhero. You don't even need a gym rat's bod to be a superhero. Take care of you before you worry about anyone else. If you don't care about yourself, how are you going to care about others? It all starts with you.
   
   
   
   And that concludes this week's issue of Curly Girl Talks! I hope it helps you guys out, and let me know if you try out any of these steps! Wow, that sounds like a 12 step program...um, yeah...okay. Thank you so much for reading and stay tuned for an upcoming beauty tutorial with Revlon's matte lip balm in Shameless (it's a super purple, scary colour for those of you who don't know. I also have swatches in my previous beauty haul). To conclude, don't count on anyone to be your own hero, be your own, and then you can be someone else's hero.
   
   
   
   
   
   XOXO,
   A. Bean
   
   
   
   
   
   PS:
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   
   

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Honouring One of the Greats: Kurt Cobain's Lessons

Hey guys!

For those of you who know, today is Kurt Cobain's birthday. While I was born just a few months before this amazing human being died tragically, I believe he lives on through his music, and today, the Chronicler will be paying their respects with some life changing lessons we can all learn from Kurt Cobain.

As a side note for those who don't know Kurt Cobain or don't follow Nirvana, the band, here is a short synopsis. Nirvana was a 90s grunge punk rock band that started in Washington state. Their most well known song, in my opinion/experience, would be "Smells Like Teen Spirit", "Come As You Are", and "Dumb". They're seen as the "flagship band" for Generation X and are eligible to be inducted into the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame this year.

We can learn many lessons from Kurt Cobain. Despite dying young, he had some pretty amazing quotes throughout his lifetime. Most of us say some pretty quotable things on a daily basis, we just don't have people hanging around recording every word we say like Kurt Cobain or Marilyn Monroe or any number of celebrities. Without further introduction, here are some lessons we can learn from the late but still great Kurt Cobain:

People:

I think many of us can nod our heads at this statement. Bottom line is, people suck, you just need to choose to surround yourself with people who are less sucky than the rest.

Being Yourself:

It's good to be hated, I'm not sure why it's such a scary thing for some people. If you're hated that means you're as unabashedly you as you can be and that's nothing to be ashamed about.

Fear:

I don't know, I just really love this line. It's so sad and heartbreaking, and yet, I can look at this quote and relate. Not in that I have a daughter, but in that I look at an old photo of me and it reminds me so much of who I used to be and it makes me so sad and empowered at the same time. I think at one point or another, we've all experienced moments of terror whether it's from a memory or something, and you just freeze, your breath comes short, and you can't even think straight.... Yeah, I think we can all relate and appreciate the rawness of this line.

Human Rights:

'Nuff said. As are the next quotes below.

Love:

Generations:

Ambitions:

 Heartbreak:

Life:

Tragedy:

Expectations:

Drugs:

And with that, thank you very much for reading this post. It was outside the beauty realm, but I don't want to be just a beauty girl. I want to be one you guys can relate to and post things I find interesting and meaningful and helpful. So with that, happy birthday, Kurt, and to all of you, I hope this was educational enough to get rid of some of the posers wearing Nirvana shirts out there. Shame on Forever 21 for even selling the logo on their clothing to 12 year olds. Nirvana isn't just a cool grunge trend symbol thing you wear on a crop frigging top. Have some pride. That smiley face represents an entire generation, a whole movement, and an amazing band. It is not a trend, it does not make you look like a badass and it does not amp your "street cred". It is a representation of one of the most inspirational voices of a generation that has carried onto the next one. 

With that in mind, I leave you with one of my personal favourites, "Heart Shaped Box".

                                

XOXO, 

A. Bean

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Let's Talk Beauty: Haul!!

Hey guys! Happy post Valentine's/Singles Awareness/Family Day long weekend! Hopefully you're all getting through the day in one piece and semi sober?

Like any happily single girl, my therapy/drug of choice is makeup. So, given the recent splurge of generally couple-y days, I decided to splurge on myself. Below is a series of things I've recently purchased, both high end and drugstore, in addition, I'll be including things I would like to purchase online.

This is by far the biggest thing I splurged on price wise and it's also the product I was most excited about purchasing. I chose to buy this product over the Naked 3 palette because I found it to be far more versatile in terms of colour choices and looks I could do with that palette as opposed to the Naked 3. I've been iffy on jumping on the rose gold bandwagon since the trend started (trends always scare me unless they're classics because then they'll never go out of style). I reconciled my choice by telling myself the Too Faced Chocolate Bar palette also included some pinky colours which would work for Valentine's Day. Also, the Chocolate Bar Palette smells like honest to goodness chocolate! The perfect Valentine's Day gift for myself and really for any day of the year! Plus, Too Faced will always win the award for cutest packaging in my opinion. If you guys would like to see a tutorial with the Chocolate Bar Palette let me know in the comments!

"The Chocolate Bar experience begins as soon as you open the palette and the smell of sweet chocolate envelops you. The eye shadows are pigmented with pure, antioxidant-rich cocoa powder and includes 16 matte and shimmer shades of natural browns, delicate pinks and luscious plums. Includes our signature how-to Glamour Guide with three looks to get you started."  -Too Faced 

Along the same eyes category, I also splurged on eyeliner. I love eyeliner, but I stick to my drugstore eyeliner up until the point where my right eye started watering, causing my eyeliner to be a hot mess all over my eyelid. Not cute. I could've bought a drugstore waterproof eyeliner and saved myself some money, but, of course, while looking for a different palette (the LORAC Pro Palette which, as it turns out, Sephora does not carry the LORAC brand anymore *tear*), I walked by the Stila Award Winning Eyeliner display in Sephora and immediately did a U-turn. It was definitely an impulse buy, but not one I regret.  The felt tip is amazing for precision and winging eyeliner is so easy with a good liner. It saves so much time in the morning. If you guys are looking for a good eyeliner to splurge on, either for special occasions or you just prefer higher end eyeliners, you need this one in your repertoire of makeup goodies!

Moving away from the eyes, I also took my Benefit virginity. *gasp* Yes, I am now a proud owner of two Benefit products. The first thing I picked up was the Dandelion lip gloss. I haven't heard much about this product, mainly because I'm assuming that no one else is crazy enough to spend 20$ on a lip gloss, but let me tell you guys, in moments of weakness, I impulse and splurge buy like it's an Olympic sport (go Canada go!). If you're looking to splurge on lip gloss or in a mood to spoil yourself, I highly recommend this lip gloss. I applied it as soon as I got home and haven't been able to stop using it since. The tube says "ultra plush" and I was confused on what products mean when they say they're "plush"-y. Like with the Maybelline Mega Plush Mascara, I was intrigued by the plushy adjective. It's weird, but it's totally true. The Dandelion lip gloss is a really amazing gloss. It's not sticky and the scent or taste isn't bad at all! I really enjoy it and since it's almost spring, I feel like it's an excellent gloss to put me in a springy mood in the dead of this Canadian winter. Highly recommend if you're looking for a non sticky, smooth feeling gloss.

Keeping on the Benefit Beauty bandwagon, I also purchased...wait for it...the Rockateur blush. I know I said I was iffy to jump on the rose gold bandwagon, but my blush collection is very sad. I own one I use on a regular-ish basis, but for the winter time, it's not so pretty looking. I have another where only the smallest bit is more than enough. I've also really loved the whole blush as a contour thing and wanted to get a blush that would be deep enough to do that. However, the Rockateur blush is more of a highlight as a blush, but it still looks gorgeous. I applied it for the first time today and so far I'm loving it! I was iffy on the rose gold thing and had been contemplating purchasing the Rockateur blush since it came out and was raved about on the YouTube. I'm so glad I finally purchased it and look forward to buying the rest of the Benefit blushes!



Onto the drugstore goodies, I bought a bunch of Revlon things, a new eyeliner, and a new L'Oreal mascara. Surprisingly, I didn't purchase any Maybelline goodies, although it was a close call between me, the Maybelline Baby Skin, and the cash register. I didn't end up buying it in the end because of the mixed reviews, and while I was dying to try it out for myself, I was just too iffy on the purchase to fully commit (my commitment issues don't just extend to relationships, people).

The new L'Oreal Butterfly Waterproof mascara is the most recent(ish) line, I think, of L'Oreal mascaras and the wand is super funky. It's supposed to reach every lash and extend each one for a "butterfly" winged out effect.

"Its revolutionary Butterfly Brush^™ with asymmetrical lash line shape extends and lifts outer corner lashes to give you a winged-out effect, instantly volumizing lashes at the roots and stretching lashes outward. The unique Cocoon Fibers^™instantly wrap lashes in a soft, delicate veil to create silky, spectacular lashes that flutter." -L'Oreal Paris USA

I haven't tried it enough to give a full review on it, but it will be coming in the near future!

Next, I have a new eyeliner from Rimmel. It's from their Scandleyes line and it's their waterproof pencil eyeliner in the shade Nude. I love it for lining my waterliner. It's especially good for when you do choose to go the rose gold route for your eyes and want to avoid the redness that your waterline naturally takes on when applying pinky shades to your eyelids. (Thank you Emily Noel on YouTube for that tidbit, check out her main channel emilynoel83 and her second channel where she posts reviews 5 days a week! Beauty Broadcast Express)

Emily Eddington AKA emilynoel83
on YouTube

Alright, time to hop into the bulkier portion of my drugstore haul where I got four Revlon lip things.
For a long time, I've been dying to get the Revlon Matte Balms, but the shades I wanted were never at Walmart (shameless cheap student moment, guys). I was able to snag two that seemed fun to play with. The first being the purple shade, Shameless. The colour itself is pretty scary, but I've seen a few girls on YouTube rocking the purple lip, so I'm excited to try it out for myself and put my own spin on it to make it wearable for the everyday student with a passion for makeup. The next colour I was able to get my hands on is the shade called Elusive. It's a strong pinky shade which I thought would be nice for everyday wear, but since I'm in love with the nude lips, I haven't had a chance to fully fall in love with it yet. Overall, the balm stains act like a lip balm to me in that they glide on super easily. The crayon-like packaging/appearance/application had be a bit weary at first purely because I thought it would tug like some of my drugstore lip liners, but alas, it's a smooth application process and the colour pay off is super vibrant. The purple appears exactly as it is on your lips which was my primary concern when swatching these at the store. Nobody wants a faint purple lip when they buy a vibrant purple looking product. A tutorial on How To Rock the Purple Lip will be up in the near future! (In other words, after spring break!)

Swatches from left to right: Revlon Colorburst Balm Stain
in Shameless and Elusive, next to it is the quilted Revlon Gloss
in Peony, Dandelion gloss by Benefit, Rockateur Blush by Benefit

Next, I purchased two glosses to go along with the balm stains for an added shine. The first, being the Revlon gloss with a quilted cap detailing and it's in the shade Peony. It's a gorgeous peachy pink shade with flecks of shimmer in it. The gloss is nothing like the Dandelion gloss I mentioned earlier by Benefit, but over top of a nude lip and Peony looks gorgeous. I tried applying it over Elusive and wasn't as impressed with the results, so for this gloss I'd recommend using it over a nude lip if you want to give it that pinkinsh tint without being too over the top.
The next gloss I bought from Revlon was one of the cheaper ones since I just wanted something that could compliment the Shameless matte balm. I know it's weird to apply a gloss over a product that should be matte, but I can't help it. My lips get chapped and start cracking and it's not cute, so sometimes a sister needs her gloss ok? This gloss I purchased was about 6$ and it's in a deep plumy shade. I'm still experimenting with the look, so like I said, I let you guys know my full thoughts in an upcoming tutorial featuring Shameless and possibly the berry shade which I can't remember the name of to save my life. If nothing else, I feel like I can wear the berry shade over top of one of my red lipsticks to deepen the colour, or even pair it with my Revlon Black Cherry Lipstick to amp up the vamp.

That is everything in my most recent splurges! I hope you guys enjoyed and let me know what products you'd like to see a review/demo/tutorial with in the comments or hit me up on Twitter or Instagram to keep up with all my daily adventures and random selfies!

I will also have listed down below things I intend on order online, but haven't gotten around to doing so yet. Mainly for me, but also for you guys to see some great products which aren't available in stores (at least not in Canada).

• LORAC Pro Palette: this palette retails for 42$ online and like I said before, is not available at Sephora in Canada. This palette looks super versatile with matte shades on the top row and shimmery shades on the bottom. I've seen numerous beauty gurus on YouTube mention this palette and how much they love it, and I feel like this palette is good for any look you want to accomplish for daily wear/use.
• BH Cosmetics Pop Art Brush set: I mainly like this one because the colourful brushes look fun. Yes, I'm one of those, don't judge me, you know you get suckered in by the packaging too. The brush set itself is 24.95$ on their site. My brush collection is sad and in desperate need of friends, so I figure this investment will be a good kick off to my collection. I'm awful at choosing brushes individually and much prefer a set so that a) I feel like I'm spending less money on a set as opposed to buying multiple individual brushes, and b) I have no clue what to do when it comes to individual brushes in terms of what I need and don't need. A brush set sets you up with a good foundation which is vital for every aspect of your life. (#justificationsofabrokestudent)
• Sigma brushes: I don't know which one, I don't know which set, but I have made it my goal to own at least a set of sigma brushes. They have a set I've been eyeing for a while, but it's 140$ and it comes with basically every brush an amateur makeup person would need. I'll see how it goes with the BH Cosmetics brushes first before I commit to sigma. If nothing else, I will definitely be purchasing the F80 brush which I hear about so much! 
• ELF Cosmetics Small Stipple Brush: one of my favourite beauty gurus (emilynoel83) talks about this brush until she is blue in the face and I figure a 3$ brush? Why not. I've had some issues finding ELF at my local drugstore which is why somewhere down and along in the near future, I'll be ordering that brush and seeing what the hype is about.

And that is everything to this post! I hope you guys enjoyed it and I'll be sure to upload some tutorials I've done for you guys including my everyday makeup look, a Too Faced Chocolate Bar palette tutorial, and the Revlon Shameless Matte Balm tutorial.

Thank you so much for checking out this post! Don't forget to leave a comment down below on what your recent beauty splurge has been whether it's high end or drugstore!

XOXO,

A. Bean

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