I hope you all had an amazing week! I've decided Fridays/Saturdays will be my Curly Girl Talks days because I find Fridays to be a time where I have more time to reflect and evaluate everything that went on over the past week. I also love doing these posts because it sets me up for a good weekend!
So without further ado, let's jump right into the post! St. Valentine would cry over what's become of his day, but that doesn't mean you should too. Valentine didn't have to worry about smearing his mascara all down his face. Whether it's Maybelline or MAC, it's such a waste of product.
Valentine's Day is highly overrated and I'm sure a lot of ladies and gentlemen out there can agree with me on this. And no, I'm not just saying this because I happen to be single every single freaking year Valentine's Day rolls around; nor am I just saying this because I'm bitter, angry, lonely, blah, blah, blah. I'm saying it because it's true. As if guys don't spend enough money taking girls out on dates, buying them food, drinks, condoms, cupcakes, tampons (do they do that? No? Oh, well, clearly he's not whipped enough, psssht), etc. they're also expected to blow another 20 bucks on roses which will die within the next couple weeks (how's that for a long lasting symbol of love?), they also have to make reservation at the snobbiest, most expensive restaurant which will most likely offer them some bogus deal on Valentine's day -having worked in the restaurant biz over Valentine's day several years ago, I can attest to this - and then there's the chocolates, movies, and general never ending sappiness that honestly makes me want to both hurl and pop into the nearest dentist office to get rid of all the sweetness (and cavities). Can you guys tell I killed cupid?
If I worked at a movie theatre on Valentine's day, you know what I'd do for all the whipped suckers being dragged to a cheesy romance movie? Slip them a free popcorn or movie ticket to the latest superhero movie. Honestly as far as dates go, I'd be so much more into a guy who takes me to a movie with guts and grit as opposed to fluff and a plot so cheesy, I'll need multiple barf bags just to get through the first ten minutes. Better yet, we can skip going out to the movies and stay home, flip on some Netflix and the best part? Pajamas and no makeup, ladies. Complete comfort. That's what it should be. Personally, I don't need a special day to show someone I care about them, you should show someone you care about them every day.
St. Valentine would not approve of all the stupidity that now surrounds the 14th. Uh, guys? This dude was martyred on the 14th. You know what that means? He died and you're all out buying chocolates, spending hundred of dollars on outfits, flowers, dinners, movies, makeup, salon days, and not to mention your own mental health at planning the perfect day. By all means, carry on with those dinner reservations at that "cute little Italian place" (god, I abhor "cute little italian places. Why can't the menu be in english? Do I like stumbling over the Italian names for pasta? No. Is garlic breath hot? No. Do I look like I can fit a toothbrush in this stupid little clutch? Hell no! My phone is in my boobs for crying out loud! Having worked at a "cute little Italian place" I can attest to all these claims/have possibly may or may not have been in a similar or exact situation myself), just remember, some important guy died on that day. So Happy Valentine's Day to you too. I'm sure he'd be so proud to see you two love doves sucking face and munching on some pasta.
This year, don't be that couple who is all over each other on V-day causing the rest of us happily single folk to gag and run to the nearest heart covered trash can. It's called PDA and consideration, people, learn it. Also, my go-to thought whenever I see PDA: Is that even sanitary? Like, where have those hands been? Boy, they better be clean if you're gonna even think about touching my hair, hand, face, whatever. Actually, just don't touch my hair or face. The amount of effort and hassle put into both is just not worth having your hands mess up either one. Look, admire, compliment, but do not touch. Having engaged in an embarrassing amount of PDA in my past relationship, I feel the need to publicly apologize to everybody I/we made uncomfortable at the various intersections, stoplights, campus quads, parking lots, and sidewalks. I know how it feels, and had I been of saner mind, would have never condoned such behaviour. To the especially aggrieved mother in the movie theatre parking lot, I am so very sorry you and your little things had to witness that, I wasn't aware of your presence and would have never engaged in such enthusiastic kissing had I known there was an audience. I wish I could tell you it didn't happen again after that, but alas, all I can really do is apologize for my sickening behaviour and to assure you, and everyone else, I still find PDA to be disgusting and unnecessary. Hold hands, not junks, ladies, we keep it classy here at the Chronicles. (Disclaimer: there was no grabby hands or junk holding, it just sounded better to say as a phrase.)
Do yourself and your other (whether they are significant or not, I don't know they're just kind of there aren't they?) and stay in. Spend time together, binge watch Dexter (very romantic), maybe cook a meal together (or order in together - don't forget to tip!), and really, just soak up each other's company like little lovey dovey mildewy sponges. The rest of us single ladies, and guys, can be found knocking back shots of tequila, vodka, and whiskey better than any Hispanic, Russian, or Irish person ever could. And possibly, hopefully, maybe, indulging in some bad decisions which shan't be spoken of ever again and only thought of in moments when you need to give yourself a pat on the back.
While your couple friends may be like "Oh, Valentine's Day was so sweet! So and so did this, this, and that, for me and we had such a good time!" You can stand there, scoff, snort, and be like, "Oh, yeah, Valentine's day was sweet alright. I don't know who did this, this, and that thing that shouldn't be done but was done and we had such a good time!" The best stories never start off with, "so me and my boy/girlfriend had a salad, a nice glass of wine, and then..." because as soon as someone starts a story with what they and their other did, I physically have to restrain my eyeballs from rolling to the back of my head. Also, side note, wine! Basically gross spelt with four letters. Maybe I'm not "advanced" enough with my drinking palette, but I'd rather have a beer or if I have to be fancy, a frilly girly drink. But cheap beer, you have my heart. Wine is hella nasty, I'm sorry.
At the risk of sounding even more like the anti-valentine's chick that I am, Valentine's day has just turned into a completely commercial and highly overrated day. Can we take a moment to simultaneously groan at all the cheesy heart shaped knick knacks and baubles sold at stores every around this time? Could it get any cheaper and cheesier? Oh lord, my stomach churns at the thought. Hearts are always seasonally appropriate, but around February, they immediately represent everything that is wrong with the world amongst us single folk. That all being said....
Hahaha! Just kidding, I already have a valentine, but for those of you who don't, I'm on your side, and I'll be spending Valentine's day like Harry Potter in the Chamber of Secrets: In my room, pretending I don't exist. With a bottle of hard liquor and a sick pack. Of beer.
So whatever your relationship status, know that it doesn't define you and we can all survive this one day of the year together because, let's face, you've been single the rest of the time leading up to Valentine's day, so what's the big deal? Think about all the cheap chocolate the day after and the potential free drinks on the 14th from guys who don't want to be alone any more than you do.
Valentine's day, and really, every day, isn't about the things you receive, whether they are from your other or not, mean nothing.
Treasure the memories, the thoughts, and the gestures. It's so easy to get caught up in the material things, we often forget about the things that really make a mark on us. I can speak this honestly from personal experience that it's not so much the things you're given so much as the person who's giving it, and the memories you take away with you once the day is over. Be grateful, be kind, and most of all, be thoughtful.
XOXO,
A. Bean
Tweet
No comments:
Post a Comment